Saturday, April 28, 2012

Finals week and dance competition...

So...I had to get up at 6:20 this morning for a dance competition :p And I hate makeup. What I hate even more than makeup is stage makeup. I look like...a character from Night of the Living Dead. No joke :p Anywho it's a little after 10:30 and I had a full day. Dancing was fun ;D My parents watched the routines for the first time, and my mom said I was the most polished ;D And the most important(well, one of the most important to me), is that my kicks were straight up sky high ;D I've come to realize in the past few years that putting myself fully into a dance mood and the routine really pays off. I shouldn't be afraid of slipping or tripping, and I'm not. I've really grown as a dancer the past few years. But what's frustrating to me is some of the girls(and unfortunately the ones I had to dance with), only put so much into it. I don't think they care as much. Like they don't make an effort to come to practices unless pretty much forced. I think they try but it doesn't seem like it. So I feel like my talent that I've worked so hard to earn is being wasted and that's depressing for me. But I'm hoping I'll be able to fulfill my potential by joining the Baronettes ;) A lot of the routines were amazing, but watching 6-12 year olds and even teenagers thrusting, shaking, and gyrating is horrible to watch. Once again, no joke. Several times I thought I was at a strip club or watching pole dancers. Little girls as in 6 and 7 year olds were shaking while pumping was darn right scary. Another dance with 15-16 year olds involved folding chairs and fishnet stockings with 3 inch heels and body shots of things that should be kept either down or out of sight. Yup. The thing I think that bothered me the most was that there men in the audience watching these girls. I don't have a problem with that besides the fact that they were...well...watching that. Just because these girls are young doesn't mean they don't have bodies. And they're being trained to get attention the wrong way. With the older girls do they care they're mistreating their bodies and provoking wrong things? My dance teacher said to us one time, "Imagine if Jesus was in the audience. Would He be ashamed about what you're doing and how you're using your body?" To me, doing crotch shots and rubbing your hands down your body suggestively along with rolling and shaking your behind to the audience and moving the top along with the bottom is something I think Jesus would enjoy watching. And yet He did today. It just makes me mad and sad at the same time. I really needed to get all that off my chest :p It also makes me mad that if I ever was able to join a studio where the girls were serious I'd most like end up in a dance like that. Not to brag or anything, but I actually am as good as all those pole dancers today( :p), because I've used the studio to dance by myself before and it's like a replica of their moves just appropriate. But I would never wear fishnets or gyrate. It's wrong. I want to be able to do my tour jetes, center leaps, and that cool jump where your arms are above your head and your back is arched while your leg is bent backwards and almost touching your head while the other is pointed in front for the glory of God, not to shame Him. And I'm hoping and praying that's what the Baronettes do. Until then, I continue to do fishnet worthy jumps and leaps at my own studio and wow everyone in the process ;)

Finals are on Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE pray for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) And your quote:

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness." ~John Keats

Friday, April 20, 2012

Never fear, I'm always here :p

I know, I know! I'm back once again. And I actually have a very good explanation for not posting last week. I was at Franciscan University having a tour of the campus and drooling over everything ;) And by the time I got back in the car for the 6 hour drive home, I honestly didn't feel like posting anything ;) ::) But it was wonderful to say the least, and I got to meet a member of the fairy tale novel forum, Lady John! ;D ;D I also decided that when I'm there I'm going to stick to the vegetarian bar ;) No freshmen-actually-junior-15 for me! ;D And there's a dance studio on the top floor of Finnegan Fieldhouse so needless to say I died and went to heaven ;D If that wasn't enough, there's also a dance team which I am determined to join! ;) ;D ;D ;D

Finals are in 2 weeks! If you could keep me and all the other college students in your prayers we'd be grateful!

And 2 quotes today:

 "Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another>" ~Unknown

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." ~Anonymous

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Happy Easter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, I know Easter doesn't start for another...*glances at clock*...eleven hours and 55 minutes, but it sounds so much better than happy Holy Saturday ;) I really sorry I never posted last week, but I was busy all day Friday and I never had a chance to come on the computer at all. Nothing important happened, just to let you know if you're wondering ;) Oh, scratch that. This certain man I know suffered and died for me two thousand years before I was born. To quote a certain song, "He saw my face and He cried." You know, it wasn't really until last year or maybe the year before I began to understand what He did for us. And it just came to me yesterday during service. One of the greatest desires of my heart is to fall in love with a man who will defend me and even die for me just because he loves me so much. You know how when you watch movies like Princess Bride or even old Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast, you get that fluttery feeling in your heart whenever the Prince declares his undying love and devotion? I almost laughed when I realized: we already have a Prince. We have a Hero who defended us against our sins and what would have happened to us, and He willingly gave up His life for His princesses, which is you and me :) And I wish, I really really really wish I could begin to understand how much He loves me. I think I feel a glimpse of it when my heart begins to pump double time in church as I listen to the priest's words, or when we go and kiss the cross which is what moves me to tears. I think back to a conference I went to at Franciscan University last summer. I try and remember the joy, peace, and love I felt and I can't really remember. I do, but only a little bit. I can't even remember what adoration was like. I know what I was doing, but it's almost like it was a different person controlling my body. But I'm not worried that I can't remember. I know that it was because of the intense love I felt that I can't remember. It's something that I'm keeping so tucked away in my heart and soul, it's not meant to come out except during Good Friday. And during the rest of the year, I still love Him, but...see, I can't even really explain it. And I hope you don't think I mean that only on Good Friday I love Him. Wrong. I love Him every day. No matter what comes. Nothing tragic has ever really happened to me, and I pray it doesn't, but I always try to remember, "You give and take away, You give and take away. My heart will choose to say 'Lord blessed be Your name.'" So I'm hoping that each of you will come to realize that He loves you with a passion you will never be able to imagine. And tomorrow in church(or tonight if you're going to Vigil), you will sing your heart out. I don't care if you're tone-deaf, and neither does He. He wants to hear your praises. I know that on Easter Sunday at church I might look like an idiot because I sing as loud as the choir. But I am so happy, just so darn happy He is risen. And I don't know about your parish, but we have lots of strangers come in for the "Twice a year" Mass. These people need to know and hear how much you love Jesus with a personal love by the sound of your voice raising to the rafters. Don't let them look around seeing you not singing because you're "too cool" like a lot of the other teenagers. They will be inspired by your ever constant smile and life in your eyes. Show them that we're alive because of Him. Show them Jesus is worth more than "Twice a year" Mass. Show them Jesus' love :)

And guess what? I'm going to Franciscan for a visit this Friday! :D I'll be getting a tour and I get to sit in on a literature and Theology class! I'm so excited I might need to change my pants ;D

Here's two quotes: "I am known by another name in your world. You must learn to know me by it." ~Aslan
"If to dance is to dream, then you make dreams comes true." ~Anonymous

Have a holy and happy Easter :)